Jim Davis

I decide to quit my job as a factory machinist to pursue my childhood
dream of becoming a famous comic book artist. Before long, though, I
have a problem. No matter which character I try to draw, it comes out
Garfield. Pizza delivery guy Garfield. Garfield racing a four-wheeler.
Garfield in the rain. Beach body Garfield. Homeless Garfield. Cyborg
bounty-hunter Garfield. Neolithic Garfield. Garfield, Trappist monk.
Pirate Garfield and the parrot on his shoulder (Garfield). Garfield
the philanderer seducing the comeliest Garfield. Detective Garfield
investigating a bloody trail of Garfields in pursuit of serial-killer
Garfield. It’s like my drawing hand is cursed. I can never get famous
this way. Garfield already exists. At last, I know how to free myself:
kill Jim Davis and take his identity. So that’s what I do. I’m Jim Davis,
creator of Garfield, and this is my confession.